Gratitude and abundance
We knew back in the Fall of 2018 that we would be moving to Monterey, CA in June of 2019. I had no idea I’d get such a big lesson in gratitude thanks to this cross country move.
We stayed on top of all the things we needed to do to ensure we would be able to live in the military housing here. We got on the list early, we checked-in regularly, we were friendly, we did it all.
We were told we were so high up on the list that we would for sure get a single family home and most likely get to choose from a few homes.
For months leading up to the move I was manifesting our perfect house. I was changing my mindset and reminding myself that I was worthy of living in a beautiful house with an office, big kitchen, family room, living room etc.
My go-to mindset in the past was: I am not good enough, I don’t work hard enough, and thus I don’t deserve a lot of things.
This was my chance to change my mindset and believe I was worthy.
They tell you to believe it and it will happen.
Well guess what happened friends, we got here and even though we had been #3 on the list for weeks they were only offering us a townhouse. As in a shared wall home that we were paying a lot of money for. Lots of the perks a single family homes had, this one did not have.
I was crushed.
I was upset.
I felt like we got jipped.
And then I felt like a brat for being upset.
But here is the thing, I worked so hard to fight that 36-year-old inner voice for months that told me I wasn’t worthy of living in a big beautiful home.
I did everything all the mindset gurus say to do.
And here was what really happened, I had to learn how to eat a big old piece of humble pie.
I realized God and the universe had a better and bigger plan. We were meant to live on a street in an area with amazing neighbors. The kind of neighbors I’ve dreamed of living next to.
In a place where the alley is where we all hang out. We walk into each others home via the back door, and we all do life together. A place where Ellie can play with other kids and learn how to ride her bike in a safe space.
Guess what, this was in fact part of what I manifested. It was what I have been asking God for, for years.
During the first few weeks of living here every time I would go on a run around the community and see all the single family homes I would get bitter. I was annoyed and pissed off.
But again, humble pie was served. I had to admit to myself that while I didn’t get what I wanted and what I thought we deserved I was still living a ridiculously abundant life. I had a quick heart check to remind myself how much I would miss out on if I let my ego take control.
Bottom line, I had to get over myself and what I thought I deserved and see what a beautiful gift I was given.
I began to realize that while I didn’t actually manifest the type of house we wanted I did work on shifting my mindset to believe I was worthy of living in a nice home.
As I write this I am fully aware of the wonderfully abundant life we have. I am also aware of how I can fall into a trap of thinking that I am not worthy of living out my dreams and goals.
I’m learning that gratitude is more than just being thankful for the good stuff, it is being willing to see when we are letting something good slip by because we want what we think is better. And as cliche as it is to say, the saying is true, gratitude makes what you have enough.
This experience has shown me how to shift my mindset to believe I am worthy AND also how to see that my life is abundant just as it is, even if things don’t turn out like I hope.
